Undisputed Facts

Q: What distinguishes a good burrito?
A: A tortilla steamer.

Q: What distinguishes a good sandwich?
A: A toaster oven.

I consider myself a sandwich connoisseur and up until recently held that the hands down best sandwich place (perhaps on the planet but certainly in San Francisco) was Lucca's Delicatessen on Chestnut St. Working on the Embarcadero I've had the opportunity to sample many a neighborhood sandwich. Mastrelli's, an Italian Deli in the Ferry Building, is overpriced for being average. Taylor's Refresher, a diner style eatery also in the Ferry Building, has a reasonable Ahi Tuna sandwich though the special sauce is excessive to the point of distraction. Specialties (a Financial District chain from which we frequently get lunches for office meetings) is decent and fairly priced but no one and I mean *NO ONE* holds a candle to Cicil's.

Although this is slightly off topic (off piste, if you will) Cicil's also excels in the salad department. Their spring salad is second to none: spring mix, perfectly grilled thin slices of eggplant, zucchini, roasted red pepper, avocado, cucumbers, and feta. The dressing is always on the side because these people are enlightened. And that little ditty is mammoth yet only costs you $5.25. My other favorite is the Cactus salad boasting: romaine, cotija cheese, salsa, cactus (nopales--true story) crispy tortilla strips, avocado, black beans, and mango vinaigrette. It's spiked with a mere $5.50 price tag. I know what you are thinking "Assassin, this sounds too good to be true." Oh my friends, you wish; this bastion of nirvana is maybe fifty feet from my building...suckers.

But I digress, sandwiches are the issue at hand and here's how it goes: you order whatever it is your heart desires, let's say for a minute it's prosciutto. I for one have never had it but I trust these people blindly. So you order prosciutto and, first things first, you pick your bread. If you are lucky they won't be out of ciabatta-- but they sometimes are and fear not, they have every other kind of bread you want. They take your bread, cut it in half and throw both sides under the womb-like warmth of their toaster over. They also cloak one side with cheese (on the prosciutto sandwich it's fresh mozzarella) which means when they start to assemble this wonder they are already two legs above the rest: building on a foundation of warm melty cheese and warm toasty bread. (Enlightened bunch, am I wrong?) So then your toasty bread and melty cheese gets adorned with the following: prosciutto, roasted zucchini and bell pepper, mixed greens, avocado and olive oil. Yes, you read that right, avocado is a standard sandwich addition-- no extra cost. You know what this sandwich runs you? $5.25.

I have a snobby palette, as we well know, and I like to role play Small Dictator when I order. My custom delight is the Garden sandwich with tuna. The Garden sandwich tops out at $4.75 and tuna is $1.50 extra but this bank breaker (at $6.25) is worth every penny. Their tuna is mixed with fresh herbs and is light on the mayo; it never looks creepy and oxidized in its container. The Garden sandwich is pretty much the spring salad (all that grilled veggie action) plus melted provolone on the warm toasty bread. And then if you are me you have the advantage of the tasty tuna as well. I'm usually pretty good about bringing lunch to work--not blowing my hard earned dollars midday, but anytime you put an offer of Cicil's in front of me I will be like puddy in your hand. It's funny, when I think about what I would do if I left my job, I factor in periodic return trips to visit these folks. If I ever do get around to leaving I'll probably write them a letter (I've hugged them before but I'd like my sentiments to be emblazoned for life on a plaque or something.)

If you really really want the best sandwich in SF, you have to make your way to 101 Spear St. B-5 (that's the stall number). It's easy to overlook since it occupies a small station on the walkway between Spear and Steuart just outside of Rincon Center (to be technical it's really on the Steuart side of things). You would be a fool not to try your hardest to fill your belly there... and when you go, tell them I love them.