BJ's Brewhouse, you sneaky bastard.
After four delicious days back in San Francisco, I almost forgot how depressing it is here in San Bernardino.* After indulging in a light, early evening snack of SWA's famous dry roasted peanuts, I arrived at the hotel hankering for some greens. For salads, I generally opt for Elephant Bar or BJ's. At BJ's, my usual choice is the Garden Medley; I get it to go and add avocado. Tonight I was feeling a little sassy and was eating in the din of their brick walled, sports lounge fortress. I opted for the Sante Fe salad described on the menu in the following terms:
A colorful blend of crisp romaine, red onions and roasted red peppers tossed with our Santa Fe dressing. Topped with jack and cheddar cheeses, sliced avocado, corn, diced tomatoes, crisp tortilla strips and blackened chicken breast.
Fair enough. I order, substituting black beans for chicken and ask for dressing on the side. The waitress and I spend a moment clarifying what I mean by black beans (I didn't just pull this ingredient out of thin air as a challenge, black beans are on the menu) once it appears we have reached an understanding, she leaves.
When my salad arrives, everything looks appropriate. My black beans are in a cute ramekin alongside its ramekin twin that contains my dressing. Both are teetering on the edge of this heaping bounty. The mound of crisp tortilla strips are "crisp" because they've been re-dipped in the deep fryer and are actually glistening, like tri-colored snowflakes. I scrape those off to the side. I mix in the beans, gingerly dip my fork into the dressing and deftly spread the droplets about the first layer. I stir things up a bit. I take a few bites. The lettuce is crisp and there seems to be a nice ratio of beans and corn. I take a few more bites and discover a treasure chest of cheese...and I notice how far that forkful of dressing has gone. I try to distribute the cheese evenly looking to match it with lettuce; I'm having a hard time finding the lettuce. Avocado is everywhere. I'm cutting things into pieces to construct well balanced bites-- the dressing has now tripled in size. Then I realize: the "dressing on the side" was interpreted as "extra dressing on the side." After about seven bites I'm completely out of lettuce. I'm working with literally two whole avocados, three kernels of corn, six beans, and two pounds of shredded cheese. A pool of Santa Fe dressing (which I believe is ranch with paprika and chili mixed in) is collecting at the bottom of the bowl. I am horrified. When you can't even find a salad that doesn't make you feel like you are licking cream straight off a cow's udder, how won't you need a triple bypass by your twelfth birthday?
Naturally I came to wonder, is everyone here as fat as I think they should be? Here are some (not entirely telling) statistics I found for obesity rates in San Bernardino:
In 2001 SB was one of sixteen counties that had "obesity rates significantly higher than the state rate." (California's age adjusted rate is 19.1 percent--more than 4.7 million Californians.)1
Another study showed that of 21 cities in San Bernardino County, the actual city of San Bernardino has the fourth highest incidence of overweight middle schoolers, with a flooring 35.2 percent.2 Awesome, start 'em young. These statistics can be reinforced by the fact that BJ's was positively BUMPING at 8:00 on a Tuesday night. I don't believe people cook around here. And I fear they even drive significant distances to eat in this cellulite-inducing mecca.
If someone wants to open a grocery store, it could be really great...assuming you could convince these folks that it takes less time to cook than it does to loiter outside of a restaurant door, holding a brick sized table beeper and waiting for the red lights to start flickering and the Taboo-buzzer-like wailing to begin.
*It should be noted that I ate phenomenally well all weekend long, including a rad meal that ten of us cooked up last night. It was requested that I write about it, and I will, as soon as I clear tonight's foul feast from my head. Likely in a day or two.
5 comments:
BJ's is a hot spot down here in San Diego as well. Can't say I've had the salads, like ever, but I do know their portion size is freaking humongous. As far as it being busy on a Tuesday night, I can definitely attest to that as well. There's a BJ's, Casa De Pico, and a ClaimJumper all within walking distance of each other at the same mall, and all three are ALWAYS jumping.
While the Trader Joes accross the street is busy, it's usually an older set with a hankering for cheap wine and smaller portions who walk through those doors.
I dig your blog... It's good to read someone who thinks and writes about food in a passionate way.
-buzz
That sounds like a delicious salad! my uncle owns bj's...my mom coined the now famous "pizzookie"
Anonymous- Thanks for your comment. But out of respect for your mother, you oughta know that pizookie only has one 'z'.
Is your uncle Paul Montenko?
this is my favorite salad at bj's. i order it without the chips (i once got my salad with so many chips that i wasn't able to find the actual lettuce) dressing on the side and no cheese.
Uh, the salad is good as-is! We have become a society of "i'm intolerant of this that and the other". How about we either eat at home or stop making every restaurant change every little thing. Try eating in Italy or Japan! I would like to see that.
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